Today after church Bug made me so proud. He and Boo decided that this year they would like to be a part of the children's choir for the Christmas Eve Mass. This is is big deal for Bug, because he has always struggled with shyness and feeling anxious around new people and in new situations. So, I was happy, but surprised that he wanted to sing in the choir. About halfway through practice, the choir director began assigning the solo parts. I was chatting in the back of the room with a friend, and didn't pay much attention because I knew that my kids wouldn't ever want to sing solo. So, I was shocked when I looked up few minutes later and saw Bug standing in the front, with the other soloists. My shy, anxious, easily embarrassed child had requested a solo. This is one of the things I love about him so much; his determination. He constantly pushes his boundaries and does not allow himself to be limited by what feels comfortable to him. I admire his resolve and I love his courage. I don't think anyone else in that room knew how nervous Bug must have been, or how hard it was for him to stand in front of all the other kids and sing. But I know. And I love him all the more for it.
His 7th birthday was Friday. When we first brought him home from the hospital, I was totally unprepared for how drastically my life would be changed. The feelings I had for him were so primal; I had never experienced that kind of raw emotion and vulnerability before. Every fiber of my being was madly in love with this little creature. I remember that there were times when just looking at him would cause my eyes to fill with tears. Being adopted, I had never before seen myself in another person. Looking at him, my first born, and seeing my features in him, was an incredibly powerful experience. Seven years later, it still is.
How is it that some days feel so long, but the years just fly by?
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