Christmas was good. The boys both participated in the Christmas Eve Mass. Bug was one of the Three Kings, and Boo was a shepherd. The church was filled to capacity, so I was wondering if Bug was going to get cold feet when it came time to sing his solo. He didn't, and it was beautiful.

We really cut down on presents this year, which was nice. Still, it felt like something was missing on Christmas day. I'm just not sure what. We've talked about working in a soup kitchen next year on Christmas day. One of the most important values I hope to instill in the boys is a sense of compassion. I want them to be aware of the suffering and hardships of others, and as they grow, hopefully they'll do their part to make the world a better place. I worry about them growing up spoiled, and feeling a sense of entitlement.

A few months ago, about an hour before dinner, Bug started seriously complaining that he was starving, and that it wasn't fair that he had to wait so long for me to finish cooking. This kind of whining makes me nuts. I always have fresh fruit and veggies in the house, and my kids are allowed to help themselves to these whenever they're hungry. After listening to him for about 5 minutes, I said "do you realize that there are kids right now who really are starving to death? Kids who haven't had a meal in days, and don't know when they'll eat again?" I turned on the computer and found a news clip about a little girl who lived in Africa, and had to dig through trash everyday to find food. Once in a while, she would find a rat, kill it, and bring it home to cook and share with the rest of her family. I made my son watch the video with me. Harsh? Maybe. But that 5 minute news clip taught him more than I could with any lecture.

Snowboy

Did I mention that Bug LOVES the snow? Last week when we had that huge snowstorm I asked my husband to make a big mountain of snow in the backyard with the snow blower. Bug had a blast digging out a cave. He had so much fun that he took a flashlight out and played in it at night. Brrrrr. Just looking at that picture makes me cold!

A Wee Bit O' Snow

We're in the midst of a big Nor'easter here. It's been coming down like mad for about 12 hours, and it's near white out conditions right now. We must have at least a foot and a half. Rich and the boys just went out to go sledding out back. Yeah, they're a little crazy. Bug can't get enough of the outside. He was out snowshoeing this morning before I was even dressed.

I think it's time to start counting down the days until our Florida vacation.

Hard Knock Life

This evening, Boo's toys were scattered all over the living room. He HATES picking up after himself, and usually works himself into a frenzy of tears when I ask him to clean up. It's not uncommon for him to spend 20 minutes fussing over a job that would take a couple minutes to complete.Tonight was no exception, and we had the usual crying and protests of "I'm just so, so tired Mommy!" and "It's too much for me to do!" Eventually, he gave in. As he was slowly putting away his action figures, he turned to me, still sobbing, and said very dramatically "I just don't understand how two such sweet parents can make me do such hard things!"

Thanks my love, I'll take that as a compliment.

Happy Birthday, Bug

Today after church Bug made me so proud. He and Boo decided that this year they would like to be a part of the children's choir for the Christmas Eve Mass. This is is big deal for Bug, because he has always struggled with shyness and feeling anxious around new people and in new situations. So, I was happy, but surprised that he wanted to sing in the choir. About halfway through practice, the choir director began assigning the solo parts. I was chatting in the back of the room with a friend, and didn't pay much attention because I knew that my kids wouldn't ever want to sing solo. So, I was shocked when I looked up few minutes later and saw Bug standing in the front, with the other soloists. My shy, anxious, easily embarrassed child had requested a solo. This is one of the things I love about him so much; his determination. He constantly pushes his boundaries and does not allow himself to be limited by what feels comfortable to him. I admire his resolve and I love his courage. I don't think anyone else in that room knew how nervous Bug must have been, or how hard it was for him to stand in front of all the other kids and sing. But I know. And I love him all the more for it.

His 7th birthday was Friday. When we first brought him home from the hospital, I was totally unprepared for how drastically my life would be changed. The feelings I had for him were so primal; I had never experienced that kind of raw emotion and vulnerability before. Every fiber of my being was madly in love with this little creature. I remember that there were times when just looking at him would cause my eyes to fill with tears. Being adopted, I had never before seen myself in another person. Looking at him, my first born, and seeing my features in him, was an incredibly powerful experience. Seven years later, it still is.

How is it that some days feel so long, but the years just fly by?

Snow Day!

Well, we finally got our first real snow storm of the season. All the schools in in the state were closed yesterday. It was a very fun day of sledding, cookie making, and tree decorating. Between all that and his birthday coming up on Friday, Bug was in "overdrive" all day long, over-the-top excited. He even wrapped gifts (some of his baseball cards from his collection) for everyone and put them under the tree. Then he insisted that we open them right away. Sadly, he had a meltdown at bedtime that resulted in him not being allowed to watch an episode of "Daniel Boone" that we rented. The poor little guy couldn't stop crying. It's so for me hard to stand firm when he cried, because he so rarely does. He has to be really, genuinely devastated before he cries. It breaks my heart. Boo, on the other hand, is our little drama man, and can cry at the drop of a hat. But I stayed strong, and after a while Bug calmed down and we had a nice snuggle and read a book together. Both boys were outside again by 7:30 this morning to do some more sledding before heading off to school.

I taught today for 3rd grade. For some reason, subbing this year has been so hard. I'm not sure if it's me or the kids. They've just been wild, and difficult to manage. I need to brush up on my classroom managemnent skills, I think.

I had a talk with the boys yesterday about gifts for Christmas. The last few years, The husband and I have been really discouraged by the material aspect of Christmas. Between ourselves and the grandparents, the kids end up with so many gifts that it takes them literally HOURS to open everything. Last year, I spent the entire morning trying to keep up with gathering up all the wrapping paper and packaging, while the boys ripped open present after present after present. That's when we decided, enough is enough. So this year, we're getting the kids each 3 gifts. We decided to do 3, to represent the gifts of frankincense, gold, and myrrh. We also told the grandparents that we'd like them to scale back. They were very understanding. Of course, Santa will bring them each a few nice things too. But I explained to them that we want to focus on about, being grateful, and enjoying the love that we share as a family. It might just be the best Christmas ever.

It's Beginning to Feel a Lot Like Christmas

Thank you all for the kind thoughts and prayers for our little friend, R. He is in a hospital in NYC right now, awaiting his transplant. From what I understand, his father will be donating part of his own liver. As hard as I know this is for his family and friends, I thank God that we live in a place where he is able to receive the medical attention that he needs to survive. So many people in other parts of the world are not as fortunate.

Yesterday was a big day for church bazaars in our little community. The Catholic, Baptist, and Federated churches all had festivities,as did the Masonic Lodge. For a small New England town, we have a lot of churches! Bug and Boo had loads of fun eating goodies, painting ornaments, and decorating cookies. We saw Santa at one of the bazaars, and my kids were hesitant to go over to him at first. Bug is really, really shy and anxious around strangers, so I wasn't surprised. Boo isn't so shy, and can usually strike up a conversation with anyone. Sure enough, Boo eventually ventured over to Santa on his own and started chatting.

When he was done, he came back to me and said "Mommy, I have to whisper something in your ear". I bent down and he very quietly said "I don't think that's the real Santa Claus."

"What makes you say that?" I asked

"His beard has a tag on it", he replied.

"Hmmm. Well, it's not quite Christmas yet, so he hasn't had time to grow it out fully."



A little while later, Boo was looking at all the "old lady crafts". You know the ones I'm talking about...crocheted dish rags, crocheted potholders, crocheted toilet paper covers. His eyes stopped on one particular item. It was made out of the bottom half of a laundry detergent bottle and had a crocheted Santa head fitted over it. He stared at it for a full minute, and I thought to myself, "Oh please don't ask me for that. It's tacky. It's useless. We already have too many decorations."

Then I heard his little voice "Mommy?" Here it comes, I thought. "I would really like to buy that for Santa. He's always the one who gives gifts. I think it would make him feel good to get a gift. Can I borrow two dollars please?"

I tried to hold back the tears that suddenly filled my eyes. My sweet, sweet boy. "Yes, honey, I will lend you the money to buy a gift for Santa."

My heart swelled with pride as I watched him slowly cross the room to Santa. My eyes filled with tears as his little paint stained hands lifted to present his gift. Santa smiled from ear to ear.

He gave a gift straight from his heart. And it filled both of us with joy.